Column: Penguins tiring out the D … why exactly?

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The Flyers’ Chris VandeVelde checks Patric Hornqvist closely at Steve Mason’s crease Wednesday. — GETTY

BY DEJAN KOVACEVIC

No doubt, there was a whole lot to hate about the Penguins’ flat-lined 4-1 loss to the are-they-really-rivals-if-they-always-win Flyers last night at Consol Energy Center. The forwards were soft and lazy. The defensemen were soft and loose. Marc-Andre Fleury gave up a soft rebound and lost his focus against this particular opponent for seemingly the umpteenth time.

And did I mention they were bad?

That’s OK. The captain, on the occasion of his 300th NHL goal, took care of that through an expression that was anything but celebratory.

“We were bad,” Sidney Crosby was saying at his stall. “We didn’t give ourselves a chance, to be honest with you. I don’t think they did anything different than what we expected. We were bad from start to finish.”

Wonderful. So let us all, in the spirit of Philadelphia, hold all those truths to be self-evident.

Oh, and these truths, as well …

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I’ll spare you the math: That’s 13-2-1.

Before long, the Flyers will be seeking a cut of all concerts, circuses and monster truck shows in the newly renamed Bobby Clarke Comcast Commonwealth Domination Center.

But that doesn’t matter much, at least not now, if only because these Flyers don’t matter to anyone anywhere, much less to the local franchise.

What matters is this: The Penguins are currently engaged in something sensationally stupid.

This was their second full game without Kris Letang and Christian Ehrhoff, both out with concussions, and thus, it was their second full game of attempting to compete at an NHL level with only five defensemen. And the reasons cited by management are, one, the salary cap is maxed out and, two, any player on the current roster could be lost on waivers if demoted to Wilkes-Barre. They claim their hands are tied.

Mike Johnston was adamant that playing with five defensemen “was not the problem tonight,” instead faulting the forwards for lackadaisical backchecking and lack of possession. With all due respect, that’s not the game I watched. I mean, the forwards were awful. But so were the defensemen. And I dare say Johnston essentially conceded that fatigue was a factor in the latter by saying, “I thought our defense had good gaps in the first half or so and not as much after that.”

Wonder why.

I asked Johnston if he was worried that over-extending his defensemen now could cause a longer-term strain on this group with playoff less than a couple weeks out …

“That’s the only option we have.”

Really?

Look, I could rip through every chapter and clause of the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

Or I could condense all that lawyer-speak to two layman’s words: Do something.

Exhaust everything imaginable related to Craig Adams, Beau Bennett, anyone on the roster fringe. And yes, I know it’s complicated this time of year, particularly that only Derrick Pouliot can be demoted to Wilkes-Barre at the moment. But I know that anyone can be waived at any time. No harm can come from seeing if some team stakes a claim to an unwanted player. I also know that a trade can be made after the deadline, with the stipulation that the players can’t participate in the postseason. It’s uncommon, but that wouldn’t preclude, say, moving Bennett to an out-of-the-playoffs team building for the future and securing a draft pick in return. Bennett doesn’t appear to have any future here, so move him now when it can serve a secondary purpose. I also know that, because the Penguins played a man short last night with Evgeni Malkin’s surprising scratch for an undisclosed minor injury, they’re eligible for an emergency recall in the next game, though finances almost surely will limit that to being minimum-wage journeyman Taylor Chorney.

I’d actually like to see more than one defenseman recalled right now, preferably Scott Harrington and Brian Dumoulin, the ones you’d use in the playoffs. They’d be far better served in Pittsburgh right now revving up through real NHL action.

It’s ridiculous, really, that the situation reached this point.

Get inventive. Management dug this hole. Management needs to dig out. That means now, before the upcoming bruising back-to-back weekend run through Columbus and Philadelphia.

Not because those games mean anything. They don’t. But rather, it’s because if Jim Rutherford, Johnston and their lieutenants think they can enter the Stanley Cup playoffs with two concussed defensemen and five others with their tongues dragging and last any longer than, oh, three games, they’re in for an awesomely rude awakening.

Only five games remain before playoffs, and already, Johnston’s stated plan to rest key players has been scrapped. We’re now seeing Paul Martin a half-hour a night. Ben Lovejoy logged 27 minutes in this one, Rob Scuderi 26, Ian Cole 24, Pouliot 21. Break down last night’s breakdowns all you want, but chances are excellent a tired defenseman will pop into any given frame.

Even with one emergency guy on the way, none will get a break.

To their credit, not one of them is coming close to complaining …

Machismo won’t trump reality, though. The Penguins’ most likely first-round foes are the Islanders and Capitals. New York is the league’s fastest team up front. John Tavares and Michael Grabner will skate circles around the Penguins’ defense. Washington is one of the league’s largest up front. Alexander Ovechkin is hardly the only threat. Big bodies will pummel Fleury all series long.

Heck, all that might happen anyway.

This won’t affect as much up front. I was told by a team executive last night that the default mode on Kasperi Kapanen will be to not use him in playoffs. It hasn’t been ruled out, but it would take an extraordinary situation. The Penguins are concerned in the immediate term about his slight size, his inexperience and, above all, that a setback now could stunt his development. That tells me that, in addition to being protective of Kapanen, they’re confident they’ve got other answers at forward once the regular season ends and the cap no longer applies.

But the back line needs help right now. And not just attaboys and Band-Aids.

Either get serious about preparing for these playoffs, or prepare to join the Flyers on the links.