Column: Bigger issue than an idiot-run league

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The Capitals celebrate Joel Ward’s decisive goal on Marc-Andre Fleury in the third period. — GETTY

BY DEJAN KOVACEVIC

I could, conceivably, complain about the weather.

I could decry the bitter cold we’ve been having, the endless snow and sleet, the ice that caused me to slam hard on my back a couple weeks ago. I could shake my tiny, insignificant fist at the sky and curse it from dawn to dusk.

But nothing would change.

I could complain about how the NHL governs its game, too.

I could break down the video, Zapruder-style, of Alexander Ovechkin’s vicious, cowardly, stick assault on Kris Letang’s leg from behind Tuesday night at Consol Energy Center, one that went wholly unpenalized as the Capitals proceeded to put down the Penguins yet again, 3-1.

I could show it to you right here …

Like I said … vicious, cowardly. And wholly unpenalized. Four officials were on the ice, all empowered to call majors, and the puck was right there, yet not a single right arm was raised. Nor was there any ensuing conference among those officials, as we’d seen impressively Sunday in Chicago, to double-check why Letang might have been crumpled up along the end boards. Or if anyone among them happened to notice one of the sport’s most visible stars raising his stick like a golf club and hacking down from the heavens at the back of an opponent’s leg.

I could complain about those guys, call for firings or a rewriting of the rule book.

But I’ve done that. So many others, including those with bigger fists, have done that. To no avail.

I could complain about the NHL Department of Hilarious Inconsistency, which probably will do nothing about this. Florida’s Dmitry Kulikov submarined Dallas’ Tyler Seguin over the weekend and got four stinking games. Seguin, one of the league’s top snipers, will miss 4-6 weeks. These clowns looked at that barbaric, senseless play, and thought, eh, four games sounds about right.

I’ve written that one, too. To no avail.

I could howl and protest that Gary Bettman, the commissioner who somehow has managed to have the world’s best game run by the world’s worst league, should be fired.

Done that one, too. Didn’t make any friends, either. Didn’t matter. No avail.

I could focus all the ire on Ovechkin, who too often blurs his natural brilliance with this kind of garbage. This wasn’t the first, won’t be the last.

And you can be certain from what he told me on this night he learned nothing …

So the puck was there in Letang’s skates and it seemed like a swell idea to take that graphite stick and chop down anything in his path as if it were a California redwood?

I could rip Ovechkin. But that’s been done. To no avail. And besides, the larger blame lies with the league that employs officials that allowed sticks to swing all night long at Consol. Yes, both teams.

Pittsburgh penalty, two minutes for decapitation!

There’s just no point. So I won’t bother. I’ll resign myself, as so many who love hockey have done, to watching this potentially spectacular sport in whatever form it’s available to us. That could be the graceful, garbage-free Olympics. It could be the sport you appreciate, or even participate in, at the amateur level. And sure, it could be that maybe once-a-month NHL matchup that’s got it all. Including, you know, more than a couple goals and no shot-blocking exhibitions.

But until that happens, I’m going to laser in on what ails your local team rather than the game as a whole. And the cold — check that, really cold — truth right now is that this team has three problems so much more sizable than Ovechkin or referees.

In no particular order:

1. They stink in their own division.

That’s 7-9-4 now, including 0-3 against these Capitals and a 10-1 disadvantage in goals. As the playoff picture is lining up, it might well be Pittsburgh-Washington, but it really wouldn’t matter if it was the Capitals, Rangers, Islanders … heck, even the failing Flyers have their number.

I asked Brooks Orpik if maybe his new team was getting into the Penguins’ heads …

He might have been uncharacteristically diplomatic with that one.

2. The Penguins’ biggest stars came up decidedly small in a big situation.

I’m not one for kneejerk reactions to mid-February hockey, but the fact is Consol’s crowd was very much brought to life — a rarity, don’t you know — by the Ovechkin assault, and the reaction from the home team to all that energy was … what? Chris Kunitz shoved Ovechkin once shortly thereafter, no one else mustered much physically or productively, Evgeni Malkin was shown up in a monstrous way by his longtime personal rival, and Sidney Crosby … man, he just disappeared.

I’m not being mean here. I noticed Blake Comeau maybe 10 times as much as Crosby.

Again, it’s one game, two points. But it shouldn’t go unnoticed that the Penguins were handed a playoff atmosphere and turtled. Including the players they can least afford to have crawl into a shell. It might not have been outright alarming, but it sure was unsettling.

3. The power play is embarrassing on a bazillion levels.

This will be my primary beef, actually, as it spans much further back than this night. The Penguins are now 0 for 16 over their past eight games, they’re now producing at 12.9 percent since Nov. 11 — 28th in the league — and it’s apparently causing Mike Johnston and his coaches to lose their minds.

Sunday in Chicago, Johnston and Rick Tocchet, the assistant who oversees the power play but perhaps not for long, decided to take Malkin off the top unit. Which would be tantamount to the Patriots tinkering with a slumping offense by supplanting Tom Brady. Or the Giants responding to pitching woes by sending Madison Bumgarner to the bullpen.

It’s idiotic. Sorry, there isn’t a kinder term for it.

But unlike the weather and NHL officiating, there is no credibility in complaining without offering solutions. So if you’ll pull a chair up to our big dry-erase board, here’s at least one …

Rink-2

Starting up top, I’d go totally fresh at the points.

Paul Martin is exceptional at keeping the puck in the zone, an underappreciated aspect of any power play. Each time the puck escapes, 15-30 precious seconds tick away. He’s also terrific at rapid-fire distribution once he gets it. No hesitation. No looking around. Possession, then pass. He’s no great shooter, but that isn’t needed from both point men.

Christian Ehrhoff can take care of that once he’s cleared to return from his concussion, which could be any day. No one on the roster, not even Malkin, delivers the off-wing one-timer with as much force, as much accuracy and, above all, down low, where forwards can pursue rebounds. I’ve heard Tocchet isn’t wild about Ehrhoff on the power play, but I’ve yet to hear a compelling explanation.

This leaves Letang off the top unit, of course, but that’s fine because he’s not as good as Martin at what Martin does, and he’s not as good as Ehrhoff at what Ehrhoff does. Yeah, I wrote from Edmonton that he’s a legit Norris Trophy candidate for his overall play, including his production. But he’s never been a power-play quarterback, which means he’s basically just another participant. Those are interchangeable parts. And if Malkin can be used on a second unit, so can Letang.

Planting Patric Hornqvist in front is so obvious I’ve already invested one sentence too many on it.

Not so for the other two forwards, who probably represent a combined 90 percent of the problem with this power play, including how they’re utilized.

Crosby is not a great half-wall distributor. And as anyone saw from that sad display on the final power play Tuesday, he doesn’t even seem to want to shoot from there anymore. In the broader scope, like Letang, he’s had a career to establish being a power-play quarterback and has yet to do it. At the same time, the half-wall is his home, and moving him dramatically would be overly ambitious. I’m OK with him staying put, but I’d urge two conditions:

1. Work behind the net on occasion.

This is a lost art all around the NHL — has anyone truly excelled at it since Andrew Brunette in Minnesota? — but Crosby can be pretty good back there. Show a different look. Get a different look. And while there, play a little catch with Malkin to remove the constant imbalance on the right.

2. Go through. Go through. Go through.

I could type this all day for emphasis, as it’s been that important to the Penguins’ successes and failures on the power play over the years. Far too often, Crosby makes a pass from that half-wall, then just waits for the play to unfold. That’s why the coaches felt compelled to put Hornqvist and Kunitz in front, because two bodies are needed there for a true man-advantage. That’s lousy. That shouldn’t happen. Watch Jaromir Jagr, a master on the half-wall, and you’ll see he’ll make the pass, then go through, either high or low, like a rabid shark. Crosby stays put.

Malkin is a better power-play performer than Crosby, largely because of his added versatility. And yet, for all he can do, he’s rarely been put into what just might be his best location to do damage, and that’s the high slot.

Think James Neal. He led the team in power-play goals year after year, and he shot from that spot exactly. It remains vacated.

Or, more recently, think of this goal over the weekend by Winnipeg’s Andrew Ladd, in which he systematically glided through a soft seam in the high slot, took a short pass from Toby Enstrom and just whipped the puck on net.

Neal is a great long-range shooter. Ladd is pretty good, too. Neither is a match for Malkin. And yet, Malkin has been mostly restricted to the left point, where it’s far easier for penalty-killing boxes to align with his shot. Or he’s just kind of … I don’t know, chaotically floated all over creation. That’s partially on the player, as with Crosby, but it’s also on the coaches.

Actually, a huge chunk of this is on the coaches, and I’m not comfortable thinking that way as a rule. The players are on the ice. They’ve got to perform. But deciding to split up Crosby and Malkin isn’t a solution. It’s punting on a solution. It’s throwing your arms up in disgust.

Tuesday brought more of the same. The Penguins had three measly power plays, and they performed without a clue on all three.

The first came with the score tied midway through the second period, and it opened with Malkin on the bench, even though the first faceoff was in the Washington zone. Crosby took the ice with Kunitz and David Perron, with Letang and Derrick Pouliot at the points. Malkin hit the ice 56 seconds later. Kunitz never left it.

The lone bright spot was that the high slot was finally occupied, this by Perron.

Right alignment, wrong guy.

Another power play came near the end of the second, still tied, same alignment. Only on this one, Kunitz whiffed in front of an open net. And Malkin took to the ice even later, with just 46 seconds left on the man-advantage.

The final power play came in the harried final minute, and the only meaningful chance was a badly shanked one-timer from Letang at the left dot that caromed all the way back to center ice.

The true definition of insanity isn’t trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results. It’s trying something dumber and expecting different results.

I’m flying to Bradenton this morning, so I honestly won’t complain about the weather. But I’ll cling to my right to complain about the most confounding power play in franchise history and how, if it isn’t fixed, all this talent will be flushed away in roughly the same amount of time it takes to maim someone and establish plausible deniability.